Are you ready?
The Oversized Bohemian Tribal Print Jacket - Boy does this bring back memories. Is this Boy George or Debbie Gibson, oh wait! Excuse me, DEBORAH Gibson. Sorry - it was ugly in the 80's and now? Yup, still ugly.
My little pony, my little pony, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh - Oh! Sorry. This falls into the same grown-women-should-not-be wearing category as the kitty shoes. And the glitter fabric?? Maybe this dress should be called the ho and the horsey? Holey moley, I just noticed the pink tail too. O.M.G!
Long Sleeve Bridal Bolero - Unless you're marrying a muppet, this fuzzy monstrosity should NEVER appear in a wedding. Hear me ladies? Raise your right hand, and repeat after me - I will never wear a furry, turquoise crop jacket in a wedding. EVER! Okay, hands down.
If there is anyone reading who has been living under a rock and doesn't know who the muppets are:
Peacock feather leggings - Okay, I love peacock feathers as much as the next person - within reason. A small, tasteful pair of earrings? Maybe. A small print on a nice top? Possibly. But these leggings? These leggings just make this poor young lady look like someone beat her - badly! Hey! Maybe she is bruised from falling off those shoes - repeatedly.
I was going to leave these poor girls alone. This picture showed up early in my search, and I thought surely there's worse out there. Well, each time I clicked to the next page, these ladies appeared at the top of each and every subsequent page. Sounds like a sign to me. Just add a hideous hat, and they would look like they took their cue from the Scarlett O'Hara drapery dress. Trust me, only Scarlett could pull off that look.
The Pixie Coat - I thought this was a costume, but it turns out, it's not. This reminds me of a play my brother was in, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. By the way, this is one of those "upcycled" items I mentioned.
Hey! You're in luck! This sweater coat is currently on sale. It's been reduced from $265 to $155. Again, upcycled - need I say more?
Women's oversized gray pants - I'm baffled by these pants. Was she in an MC Hammer video or maybe working on her sweet Ninja skills? Kinda looks like a toddler in her jammies with a diaper that's really testing the load capacity. Just saying'
Okay, I love me some SJP, and she looks great, right? Take a closer peek at those boots - I'll wait. Ewwww, right??!
Eco Dress - why does everything green or eco-friendly have to look so.... blah! Surely something can be made with some shape. I loved watching Little House on the Prairie as a little girl, and I loved Ma' Ingalls, but I don't want to dress like her.
Golden Antlers tee - HA! I get it! A rack on my well, uh.... rack? Eh hmmm..... No.
Now, what do you think about this? The SunHeart Goddess Cotton Boucle Coat. It costs a measly $500. She looks like she wrapped herself in a comforter.
Bustle ruffle striped mini skirt - why do I feel like this belongs in one of those awful Japanese cartoons or on one of Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls.
Blue Vacation Dress - I don't understand the name at all unless it's because this dress is so large and shapeless that you can get lost in it. You could cut a head and arm holes in a Glad trash bag and achieve the same look.
Last but certainly not least - The Black CityScape Top - Talk about large and shapeless. When you put your arms down does it look like the buildings are crashing down? Oh, and what really gets me? The model is wearing a face mask. I don't blame you, honey. I'd wear a face mask too.
Okay, that was fun! Again, I apologize to anyone who might happen to own any of these items. LOL! No seriously, I'm sorry.