Wednesday, July 18, 2012

What the Heck Wednesday

Last week I featured shoes.  Although there are so many more ugly shoes out there, I'll save those for another day.  Today's WTHW tip - if the item description says, "upcycled," move along.  Trust me.

Are you ready?

The Oversized Bohemian Tribal Print Jacket - Boy does this bring back memories.  Is this Boy George or Debbie Gibson, oh wait!  Excuse me, DEBORAH Gibson.  Sorry - it was ugly in the 80's and now?  Yup, still ugly.

My little pony, my little pony, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh  - Oh!  Sorry.  This falls into the same grown-women-should-not-be wearing category as the kitty shoes.  And the glitter fabric??  Maybe this dress should be called the ho and the horsey?  Holey moley, I just noticed the pink tail too. O.M.G!

Long Sleeve Bridal Bolero - Unless you're marrying a muppet, this fuzzy monstrosity should NEVER appear in a wedding.  Hear me ladies?  Raise your right hand, and repeat after me - I will never wear a furry, turquoise crop jacket in a wedding.  EVER!  Okay, hands down.

If there is anyone reading who has been living under a rock and doesn't know who the muppets are:

You're welcome.

Peacock feather leggings - Okay, I love peacock feathers as much as the next person - within reason. A small, tasteful pair of earrings?  Maybe.  A small print on a nice top?  Possibly.  But these leggings?  These leggings just make this poor young lady look like someone beat her - badly!  Hey!  Maybe she is bruised from falling off those shoes - repeatedly.

I was going to leave these poor girls alone.  This picture showed up early in my search, and I thought surely there's worse out there.  Well, each time I clicked to the next page, these ladies appeared at the top of each and every subsequent page.  Sounds like a sign to me.  Just add a hideous hat, and they would look like they took their cue from the Scarlett O'Hara drapery dress.  Trust me, only Scarlett could pull off that look.

The Pixie Coat - I thought this was a costume, but it turns out, it's not.  This reminds me of a play my brother was in, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  By the way, this is one of those "upcycled" items I mentioned.

Hey!  You're in luck!  This sweater coat is currently on sale.  It's been reduced from $265 to $155.  Again, upcycled - need I say more?

Women's oversized gray pants - I'm baffled by these pants.  Was she in an MC Hammer video or maybe working on her sweet Ninja skills?  Kinda looks like a toddler in her jammies with a diaper that's really testing the load capacity.  Just saying'

Okay, I love me some SJP, and she looks great, right?  Take a closer peek at those boots - I'll wait.  Ewwww, right??!

Eco Dress - why does everything green or eco-friendly have to look so.... blah!  Surely something can be made with some shape.  I loved watching Little House on the Prairie as a little girl, and I loved Ma' Ingalls, but I don't want to dress like her.

Golden Antlers tee - HA!  I get it!  A rack on my well, uh.... rack? Eh hmmm.....  No.
Draped skirt - I, uh, hmmm..... I don't know.

Now, what do you think about this?  The SunHeart Goddess Cotton Boucle Coat.  It costs a measly $500.  She looks like she wrapped herself in a comforter.

Bustle ruffle striped mini skirt - why do I feel like this belongs in one of those awful Japanese cartoons or on one of Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Girls. 

Blue Vacation Dress - I don't understand the name at all unless it's because this dress is so large and shapeless that you can get lost in it.  You could cut a head and arm holes in a Glad trash bag and achieve the same look.

Last but certainly not least - The Black CityScape Top - Talk about large and shapeless.  When you put your arms down does it look like the buildings are crashing down?  Oh, and what really gets me?  The model is wearing a face mask.  I don't blame you, honey.  I'd wear a face mask too.

Okay, that was fun!  Again, I apologize to anyone who might happen to own any of these items.  LOL!  No seriously, I'm sorry.