Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What the Heck Wednesday

It's that time again....  Wow!  Week 3, and I can't believe there are still so many unusual gifts out there to discuss.  I've seen some that just make you shake your head, and I'd love to talk about them.  However, I do try to keep this a relatively family-friendly blog, so I refrain.  But, my goodness!

Anyway......  Let's get started.  Shall we?

The Beer Pouch Sweats - this is pretty good idea.  Many were the night that I would have given anything to have one of these sweat shirts.  I don't like to wear gloves.
 The iPhone Horn Stand - does this remind anyone else of this.....
The perfect thing for your next cookout! Cooking and eating outdoors has always been a risky venture anyway.  Now if a bird doesn't foul up your meal (pun intended), then you can sprinkle a little bird crap on the food yourself.  It's actually seasoning, but imagine the fun you could have telling everyone you seasoned the food with bird crap. 
Combat Cookware - For the manly chef or just in case you need to go Madea on someone...
Kaos Battle Pump for filling your water balloons.  This would get a work out at our house.  Just this past weekend, our two boys were playing basketball, and for some reason decided to turn the water hose on each other.  I have no idea why.  Boys....  This fills your balloons and ties them too!  Imagine the amount of time this will save you when you're trying to achieve maximum soakage.
The Covert Cooler - They need to make one of these that looks like a baseball bag.  I can't tell you how many times we've had to figure out a way to sneak drinks into a ball park.  More parks are banning coolers from the fields, and they want you to pay $4 per sports drink at their field house.  I don't mind hiking the 1/2 mile back to the field house to purchase drinks for myself and my husband.  However, when we have kids out there playing baseball in 90 plus temps, we need to have cold drinks readily at hand and a cooler for some cold towels.

Foie Gras flavored bubble gum - Gum for the discriminating pallet.  What the???  Seriously?  Who the heck wants gum that tastes like goose liver?  I gagged a little just reading it. **shudder**  I imagine this would put those ear wax flavored jelly beans to shame.

A butter bell - I actually want one of these.  I recently started making homemade butter for my family.  It's really yummy, and I especially like the fact that it's not laden with all of the chemicals you can't pronounce that are typically found in margarine.  However, the butter spoils fairly quickly when left out of the fridge, especially here in the South.
Mr. Ghost EMF Detector - An EMF detector that you can add to your iPhone.  For those of you who are into ghost hunting, I can imagine this would be a pretty cool gift.  For me?  I'll leave the ghost hunting to those guys on TV.  I like watching the shows, but I'm too much of a scaredy cat to do any ghost hunting myself.

Harry Potter's Marauder's Map - Oh my.... wouldn't this be nice.  Imagine how many awkward situations you could avoid if you knew where everyone was at all times?  As a parent, being able to see where our children are and who they are with would certainly give us peace of mind.  The office slackers would be able to see where the boss is.  Bosses could see if their staff members are hanging out in the restroom/breakroom/smoke hole a little too long (I used to work with a girl who would take naps in the downstairs restroom - no lie!).    
Let me just say that if you have to buy your spouse a wedding ring that imprints the word "married" on their finger, you have more issues than what kind of gift to buy.  This is just sad.  Why not tattoo "Married" across their forehead?  Come on, people!

Poo-Pourri or Trap-A-Crap Toilet Odor Masking Spray - I have to say this is something that I definitely would NOT want to receive as a gift.  Now, that being said, living with a house full of males, I can definitely see the benefit of these products.  In fact, I think I may order some.
Odor Eliminating Underwear - Baaahahahahahahaha!  The description claims that odors are neutralized within 30 seconds of donning this underwear.  Seriously?  If your junk is stinkin', try some soap and water and a clean pair of drawers!  That's all I got to say 'bout that.

Hitch a Stage Stripper Pole.  Is this a problem?  Really?  "Oh, shoot!  We're out of town, and I forgot my stripper pole.  Again!  Man!" or maybe, it's more like "Honey, we're running low on cash.  Let's hook up the stripper pole."  Talk about taking the show on the road.....  What?  It's for exercise?  Yeah, right!  Buy a yoga mat. 

The Baby Owner's Manual - "Operating instructions, trouble-shooting tips, and advice on first-year maintenance."  I'm sure this is written in a tongue-in-cheek manner, but the concept is great!  I think we all know the deer-in-the-headlights look when they hand you your baby at the hospital and kick you out the door.  Really?  No instructions?  No advice?  Can you come home with me for the first week or 10?  If you think about it, when you buy a big screen TV, they give you an owner's manual 2 inches thick.  When you have a baby, they give you a smile and pat on the back. 

Okay, who is the whack job that wants to smell like sushi?  Really??  Fish?  That's just bazaar.  I don't think I've ever met anyone who loves the smell of raw fish.  Now, on the other hand, if you're trying to put off the creep at work who just can't take a hint, this might be the way to go....  Come to think of it, the Marauder's Map would be a helpful tool in avoiding that creep as well.  LOL!

That's all I have for now, folks.  I hope I didn't disappoint this week.  Things are busy, busy, busy around here, and I feel rushed!  There are cookies to make, a Santa costume to create, a house to clean, the never-ending laundry, shopping, wrapping.....  


Well, I better get to it!  Happy Hump Day, ya'll!