Wednesday, March 6, 2013

What the Heck Wednesday

I don't seem to have a clever opening today (as if any of my openings have been clever, right?).  Apparently my brain is still thawing from this past weekend.  Either that or the dementia is setting in much too soon.  For example, last night I was anxiously waiting for a load of laundry to finish washing because I needed to make sure Gabe's uniform was clean.  I checked on the washing machine, and I discovered the lid had been left open so the load never finished washing.  Surely, I didn't leave that lid up.  I walked back into the living room, sat down on the couch and looked up to see the kitchen cabinet door standing open - the cabinet I just opened to get a packet of cocoa mix.  UGH!  See?  I think I'm in trouble.

So, let's get on with it before something else happens.

Have I talked about this little gem before?  I can't remember.  Well, if I did, it bears repeating.  NO!  Just don't.

Is the hem of this dress attached to the sleeves?  I can understand that with a wedding dress with a long train, but this dress?  Ummm.... no.  I would surely raise my arms for some reason and flash the world.

I'm really hoping this cammo outfit is for the group of women who like to hunt, but have chosen to wear dresses and skirts exclusively.  If you actually think this is fashionable and is street worthy, you must be a redneck.
This is described as a sexy sweater.  To me it's creepy. It reminds me of the Masonic all-seeing eye.

This is a "holiday sweater."  I'm guessing it's called the holiday sweater because someone had a little too much egg nog when they made this.
Another pair of drop-crotch pants.... why?  They look horrible, and I can't imagine they're comfortable.  I just don't get it.  Can someone explain this to me?
This party dress looks like it was cut out of a large trash bag.
A snake print leggings outfit - Ahhh..... I remember it well.  This outfit would be worn with gold mules by someone named Edna, who applies her makeup with a putty knife and wears her hair in a platinum or black beehive.  Oh, and she moved from New York or Jersey down to South Florida.  I saw outfits very similar to this almost every day when I lived in Miami.
Great!  High-heeled jellies.  Now I can really slide around in my own puddle of sweat, rub blisters clear down to the bone AND break my neck at the same time!  Good times!

Add a removable cape to this and change the pants to bell bottoms, and you have a new Elvis-style suit!  Viva Las Vegas!!
This picture may be a little to grainy to see much detail, but pay close attention to the heel.  I love an old-fashioned pair of saddle oxfords, and I've even owned a few pair in my life time.  But these, well, although they look like a regular pair of oxfords, there is a clear wedge under them that is the actual heel.  I suppose you would look like you're walking around on your tip toes when you wear these.  Just bizarre, in my opinion. 

Themes again?  Look, not only are there cats on this jacket, there appears to be raindrops as well.  No wonder the cats look ticked off!  Why are there so many pieces of clothing with cats on them?  Constantly wearing crap like this is why you will be referred to as the crazy cat lady by the neighborhood kids.  Just don't!
This outfit looks like a toddler decided to try on daddy's clothes.  I'm sure she has a tiny little figure drowning somewhere in that get up.  You can be comfortable without looking like a street urchin.

Wow... I have absolutely no idea what to say.  Imagine that!
Perfectly nice, albeit a little dated, cardigan, right?
BAM!!!  Applique strikes again!  Whoooo keeps doing this?  Ha!  Sorry, couldn't resist. 

Okay, I'm so tired, I'm getting silly.  I better stop here.

Happy Hump Day, ya'll!