Wednesday, May 1, 2013

What the Heck Wednesday

With swimsuit weather fast approaching, I thought I might explore unusual swimwear for the post today, but OH.MY.GOODNESS!  I don't think my eyes will ever recover.  Sooooo, I quickly nixed that idea.  However, I will show you a couple of swimwear photos I came across.

Now, my intent is not to offend anyone here.  At least not with this specific picture, but I cannot imagine wearing this to the beach.  I know some people that probably should be covered from head to toe, myself included, but I think I would die of heat stroke or possibly drown from the weight of all of the fabric.  Just saying.  I love the color though.  By the way, it's called a burkini.

Ahhhhh..... pair these with a burkini for overall sun protection.  Can you imagine the crazy tan lines they get?
Ummm.... Why?  Exactly why does a swim suit need a collar?  And let's not even talk about the fabric choices.  Sad, really.

Let's move on to two of my favorite things.... Shoes and handbags.  Yay!!

Why do these make me think about an armadillo?  These are Fendi, and quite costly, but also quite ugly, in my opinion.  
This little apple wristlet is from Kate Spade.  Although, cute and whimsical, it's not really something I would carry as a grown woman.  Something like this is better suited for a little girl...but not for what this cost! 

Mother's Day is just around the corner.  Have you thought about what you're going to do for your mother, mother in law, grandmother, etc?  Mother's Day around our house usually means that Ben will let me sleep a little longer, and he might fix breakfast for the family, then we'll go to church and spend the rest of the day making the rounds to visit mothers and grandmothers.  So, this year I've decided to purchase my own Mother's Day gift.... A new coffee maker....  Check it!  

Ummm...... Ben doesn't know about this yet, so shhhh.......  But, trust me, I didn't pay retail for it.

Since we're talking about Mother's Day gifts, let's explore some items that should be avoided when giving gifts.  Now there is some murky water here, folks.  So, tread carefully.  There are some women who might actually request one of these items.  For example, one year I specifically asked for a motion-activated  stainless steel garbage can.  Not the most romantic gift I've ever gotten from hubby, but it was something I wanted and really didn't want to buy for myself.  He knew exactly what I wanted, because he was with me when I found it.  So, yeah, he scored points for that gift.  Remember that.  Did the recipient specifically ask for that exact item?  That's key.

I think I may have mentioned that one Christmas I received a box of dark brown hair color.  I'm blond.  So, yeah....  Grooming products as a whole, deodorant, shampoo, hair color, razors, etc., should be avoided.  The exceptions would be a lovely scented hand lotion or bath set accompanied by a very plush terry bath robe.  mmmmm......

One time when I managed apartment communities (sounds oddly similar to "One time at band camp......"), I received an unusual gift from a tenant.  It was lace panties, nail polish and Daisy disposable razors.  Yup.  The man was off his meds, AGAIN.  So, I promptly called his elderly father and told him that I needed to talk to him.  When the father arrived at my office, I explained that his son had given me a gift, and I  handed dear ole Dad the gift.  His response to the package contents?  "Oh my word......." and I think his knees buckled a little. 

Okay, I got side-tracked, sorry.  I could probably write a book about things I've encountered in my years of property management.  There's never a dull day, that's for sure.  Again, it bears repeating.... grooming products are NOT a good idea.

Cleaning products - another no no!  Unless, with that particular cleaning product comes a blood oath that the recipient will never, ever, EVER have to use that product again because YOU will provide that service forever and ever, AMEN.  Then, and only then, would that cleaning product be considered a fabulous gift.  By the way, the same applies to cooking utensils, kitchen appliances, etc.

Exercise videos, Wii Fit, gym memberships - unless she specifically asked for these, by giving her one of these gifts, you're basically saying she's fat.  In fact, you know what?  Forget it!  Even if she ASKED for one of these items, just don't.  Better yet, give her a visa-type gift card that she can use anywhere.  If she really, really wanted one of these things, she can use that gift card to pay for it.  Better to be safe than dead.  Speaking of Wii Fit, I have one for sale, anyone interested?  Barely used.  LOL!

A pet!  OMG!  Who doesn't love a cute, cuddly puppy??  However, it's never a good idea to purchase a pet for someone else.  Obviously there are exceptions.  I love our two dogs, but I'm the one that said I wanted a dog, I chose them, and I'm their primary care giver.  Someone else might consider a pet just one more thing on an already overloaded plate.  Instead of a giving a pet as a gift, consider giving a donation to an animal shelter in their name.

Breakfast in bed is a great idea provided you have cleaned the kitchen prior to her emerging from the bedroom.  If she's served a yummy breakfast in bed only to be met with a destroyed kitchen and a sink full of dirty dishes, well..... it's an epic FAIL!!  There shouldn't even be a hint that anyone has been in the kitchen, except for the fresh pot of coffee awaiting her.

I think I've done my public service for the day.  So, I'm going to end here.

Happy Hump Day, ya'll